One decision that will make all the difference

Deciding can be as easy as choosing a color

Deciding can be as easy as choosing a color

Last year, I was reminded of the power of a very simple, yet powerful decision. 

Deciding this before you do anything will transform the impact you have in your life. 

Last summer, I had a huge deliverable for a client. 

I had a lot of responsibility as, on my own, I was leading a room of people that were going through a tough transition. It was a jammed packed afternoon of meetings and leadership work. 

Given the emotional sensitivity, the afternoon alone was intimidating. 

Thinking of how to deliver all and make sure it was a success, even more intimidating

During this time, I started practicing the balance between what needs to get done (activities, deliverables, work, etc.) and the space and energy around what needs to get done. 

I’ll explain more in a future article, but this was one of the most critical learnings from a leadership program I participated in last year. 

In essence, what we were taught in this program was making the distinction between all the “stuff” in our lives that fill our day, and the space and energy we want to bring forward and create around it. 

This incredibly stressful event was the perfect time to apply this leadership tool.

Once I had my agenda and content nailed down, I started to focus on the energy around the day, as well as the energy I wanted to create in the room. 

When thinking of the energy I wanted to create and bring forward, I first decided HOW I would like to “be” before I stepped into the room. 

I decided I wanted to be calm, cool, confident and collected. 

Once I had made the decision as to how I wanted to be, I identified what I needed to do so that I could create and be this energy.

So I made sure I meditated and exercised the morning of my big day (my go to stress-relievers). 

I dressed in one of my favorite outfits. 

I met a few of my spiritual girlfriends for lunch and had a healthy meal with them before my meetings started. 

In my meditation that morning, I visualized the success that I wanted. 

And that’s exactly what happened. 

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The person who showed up was calm, cool, confident, and collected. 

How I was and how I felt were aligned with what I wanted, and thus created this energy not only within me, but around me. 

The energy that I brought to the event was powerful.  And I kept that energy throughout the entire day. 

What a difference it makes when we stop obsessing about the stuff that needs to get done and we focus on the space and the energy we want to create with our presence.

We get so fixated on the details, that we ignore who we are being in the process, and the impact we are having on the space and on the people around us.

And then we wonder why things don’t go the way we want them to.

The reality is that we have a lot more control over our situations than we think we do.


Have you ever tried to decide HOW you want to be before you embark on an important piece of your life? Give it a chance.  It will make all of the difference. 

Here are the exact steps I take when doing this:

  • Identify HOW you want to be. Visualize what would be the perfect way for you to behave in a particular situation.  Is it patient? Is it poised? Identify 3 ways of being that you can vividly visualize. 
  • Write this down somewhere.  Don’t just make note of this in your head.  There is power in what you write down.
  • Identify the activities that help you be this way.  Activities that help me step into some of my values are:
    • Exercise
    • Meditation
    • Reading
    • Watching educational and inspiring TV shows
    • Prayer
  • Do these activities (right before you need to be at your best, if possible).  You don’t have to do all of them, but do enough of one or several so that you can activate how you want to feel.
  • Repeat as necessary. 

I hope this article was of service to you.  I would love to hear fr om you, so please leave a comment or question below. 

Do you know someone who would benefit from deciding HOW they want to be before they start an activity? 

Would it be helpful for them to make this decision before they enter a high stress environment (a family reunion for example!)? 

Share this article with them, or share it with your friends and family so they can also start deciding how they want to be in life.