Lots of things get in the way of our happiness, yet there is one that can keep us from feeling happiness and being at peace. And that is the voice of our Destructive Self.
What is our Destructive Self? It is the voice within us that speaks from fear, anger, insecurity, and jealousy. This voice has been shaped by the negative experiences we have had in our lives, by our childhood traumas, by our disappointment and frustrations as adults, by the ways our parents raised us, by our immediate environment during key times in our lives, among much more. The worst part? It muffles the voice of our True Self.
Have you ever had the following experiences?
- You argue with yourself, stating “I am so mad at myself for doing this”
- You behave in a way that disappoints you. Looking back, you think “That is not who I really am”
Think about the first example. What do you mean you are so mad at yourself? How does that make sense? What you are pointing to is that your True Self is mad at your Destructive Self, who for a moment took control of your life.
Think for a moment about the second example. What do you mean “that is not who you really are”? What you are pointing to is that your True Self recognizes that your Destructive Self was in charge and behaved in a way different than your True Self.
We carry our Destructive Self with us everywhere we go and if we aren’t mindful, it will be the Self we react from with our family and friends, at our job, and in our community. The voice of our Destructive Self tells us:
- Our partner doesn’t love us when they are short with us, when in reality they are preoccupied with work
- That our colleague is trying to take our job, when in reality they are trying to be helpful to us and our project
- That we must play small in our lives, because we are not powerful enough to play a big game
At the beginning our Destructive Self can seem to be protective of our True Self, yet left unchecked, it can become unhealthy, paranoid, and fanatically restrictive. In essence, destroying us, our lives, and the lives of those around us.
It has become incredibly important for me to realize when my Destructive Self is present and is the one doing the hearing, talking, and acting. I want to have a happy, fulfilled life. My Destructive Self will keep me from this. My goal in life has become to minimize the voice of my Destructive Self and let the voice of my True Self shine with all of its might. How do I do this? Read the next article to find out how!
What can YOU do TODAY?
- Identify moments when your Destructive Self took control
- Notice the ways you behaved, thought, acted, and felt
- Visualize how you wished you had behaved, thought, acted, and felt. This is your True Self
- Read the next article to find out how to manage your Destructive Self and let your True Self shine through
I hope this article is of service to you. I would love to hear from you, so please leave any comments or questions below. If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends and family!
Lots of love,