The first step towards improving all of your relationships

The first step towards improving all of your relationships

The most popular request we get at JudithDuval.com is around help for improving the relations we have with those around us, whether with our partner, family members, friends, or work colleagues.  The tool that I am going to share with you today is life changing.  It is a meditation that is foundational to any efforts you may make towards improving the relationships in your life.  

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Can’t meditate? One mantra for immediate peace, anywhere

Can’t meditate? One mantra for immediate peace, anywhere

Sometimes it is easy to meditate.  Other times, it is quite hard to meditate.  That’s why it is great to have tools to rely on for support.  Here is one that will never fail you… At least it has never failed me!

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The people in your life are your teachers

The people in your life are your teachers

One of my most important lessons has been understanding that those who come into our life are here to be our greatest teachers.  This has been a powerful lesson.  When I began approaching interactions from this place, I became more receptive to my own personal growth and development.  And this became life changing.  

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Guilt, we struggle with it so much

Guilt, we struggle with it so much

Guilt is not good.  It generates and produces fear, an unproductive emotion. For the most part, we feel guilty because we are used to feeling guilty.  It’s a familiar, automatic subconscious reaction caused by years of conditioning by others that have shamed us in order to manipulate our actions.

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The one thing I must do every day to perform

The one thing I must do every day to perform

If you start just doing 1-2 of these things, you will get yourself in good shape and stop cheating yourself of your own knowledge and inner wisdom.  You will find your voice and what you deeply desire.  You will stop the noise around you that is drowning your own opinions.  You will become more confident and your True Self will shine through.  People will notice and stop trying to overpower you with their opinions.  If they don’t stop attempting to overpower you, you are so strong and connected so solidly to who you are that all the noise seems like just a feather attempting to push your True Self around. 

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The hardest person to forgive

The hardest person to forgive

Many people define the act of forgiveness as occurring when we choose to no longer want to change the past.  We accept that the past happened and we give up trying to change it.  Yet, what do we do with the participant who is surprisingly hardest to forgive? 

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Stop taking on other peoples’ problems alone

Stop taking on other peoples’ problems alone

Life can become complicated when our Destructive Self is in control and chooses to take on every single problem we encounter alone.  At times, our Destructive Self goes even further, having us take on the problems of others by ourselves.  This is unsustainable and something we want to stop doing now.   

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Never have a regret by doing this

Never have a regret by doing this

We have all experienced the toxic cycle of regret.  We label a choice as “bad” and regret our actions, behavior, and the outcomes that resulted.  We replay in our minds the different choices we should have made and how much better our lives would be as a result.  As we know, this can quickly become a destructive cycle.  

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When you do this, The Universe conspires in your favor

This past weekend, I did a workshop at the 2015 Youth Health Summit at the San Francisco AIDS foundation.  As with all of the workshops that I do, participants are not the only ones learning, I am also learning a ton from them.  My learning this time?  A reminder of the most important thing The Universe asks from us in order to best serve us: Show up.

 Wrapping up a great day with the participants!

Wrapping up a great day with the participants!

Myself and the participants had decided to show up on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in San Francisco.  If you live in California, you know sunny weather is hard to come by in SF.  Not only that, but there was a big baseball game and The Golden State Warriors, San Francisco’s basketball team, had just won the national championship two days before, so there was a big party going on in their honor.  Despite this, all of the participants showed up at the foundation ready to learn how to live a better life.  It sounds so simple, but the simple act of making the effort and showing up in life is the #1 thing that is often needed.  We often want things to change, but we don’t start by showing up for ourselves.  We want to lose weight, but we can’t show up at the gym (or even infront of our TV with an exercise DVD…or around the block to go on a walk).  We want to start a meditation practice, but we don’t show up early in the morning for 5 minutes to just breathe. 

We can make all the plans in the world, we can have the most incredible dreams, but if we don’t make the simple act of showing up, nothing will happen.  It’s scary to show up, because what happens if we do and, well…things don’t happen as quickly as we want them to?  Or what if it’s hard? Yet it has been my experience that when we show up time and time again, the world, The Universe, rises up to meet us.  When we believe enough in our dream and in ourselves to put in the effort and take the baby steps necessary, getting past the inertia, the boredom, the fear, the discomfort, the sacrifice, the trade-offs, we start sending messages to the world and The Universe.  Opportunities start appearing, doors to knock on begin to manifest.  I cannot tell you that it is easy.  The reason we choose not to show up for ourselves is because of all of the things we have to overcome.  Yet, let the participants of the 2015 Youth Health Summit serve as an example.  The simple act of showing up on a sunny Saturday afternoon is a step in the right direction.  Eventually these steps start adding up and life does start to improve.  One day you wake up and wonder how you got to the place you always wanted to get to, until you realize it was the accumulation of the baby steps you took over time.  The simple, small times you showed up to an event, showed up at the gym, showed up for a meeting, showed up late at the office to finish a presentation, showed up at the grocery store to buy healthy food, showed up in what you thought were the most insignificant ways, that added up in into the most significant way.

I would absolutely love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below!  If you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends and family!

Lots of love,

Judith

What to do when you are deeply disappointed

What to do when you are deeply disappointed

Recently, I was deeply disappointed by a close family member.  The person did not follow through on something that was very important, and in turn continued to cause stress and anxiety on many around them.  At first I was quite angry.  I came up with a ton of scenarios in my head (where I was telling them off or giving them the silent treatment) that I kept on replaying for a while.  Then I became deeply sad and shed some tears.  And then I remembered a recent lesson I had read in … 

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