Today, I want to share something I learned from Deepak Chopra’s “The Book of Secrets”. In one part of the book, Deepak refers to something he calls the “choiceless life”. Here, he shares his belief that there are no “good” or “bad” choices, and that too much time is wasted in regret of choices made in the past.
We have all experienced the toxic cycle of regret. We label a choice as “bad” and regret our actions, behavior, and the outcomes that resulted. We replay in our minds the different choices we should have made and how much better our lives would be as a result. As we know, this can quickly become a destructive cycle.
In order to break this cycle, I invite you to consider Deepak’s theory that there is no such thing as a “good” choice or a bad “choice” by completing the following exercise found in the book. I am pretty sure you will find it as life changing as I have:
- Take a piece of paper and make two columns on it.
- Label one column as “good” choice and another column as “bad” choice.
- Under each column list at least 5 important choices you have made in your life.
- Take each choice in the “bad” column, and think of at least one positive thing that came out of this “bad” choice
- Take each choice in the “good” column, and think of at least one negative thing that came out of this “good” choice.
Deepak is clear: “If you pay attention, you may be able to see that not one, but many positive things, came from your ‘bad’ decisions, while many negatives are tangled up with your ‘good’ decisions. For example, you might have a wonderful job (an example of a ‘good’ decision you made), but wound up in a terrible relationship at work or crashed your car while commuting (example of negative outcomes that result from this ’good‘ decision). No single decision you have ever made has led to a straight line to where you find yourself now. So break out of the mindset that life is made out of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ choices.”
This exercise has supported my mission to make choices with greater confidence. Yet, it also created the following questions within me: If there are no “good” or “bad” choices, do we just go around making decisions in life randomly and without care?
No, we do not go about doing this.
Instead, what we do is strive to make better choices, not “good” ones or “bad” ones, but better ones.
Deepak explains it as follows: “Our lives are the product or our awareness. Every choice follows from that and so does every step of growth.” Deepak explains how our time is better spent in developing this internal level of awareness, instead of obsessing over or regretting our choices.
Here on JudithDuval.com we call this making choices from our True Self. Our time is better spent getting closer and closer to our True Self and learning how to make our choices from this place. Our True Self is who we really are inside, found only after we peel away our Destructive Self, the Self made up of the opinions, illusions, and the fears imposed on us by those around us. To learn more about the True Self and Destructive Self, click here.
We make choices every single day, every single moment. Our present is the result of the choices we made yesterday, and our future will be the result of the choices we make today. I know this can be overwhelming. As you read this, you are creating your future; what you do immediately afterwards will also create your future.
Yet, seeing situations as an opportunity to make a better choice certainly takes the pressure off trying to make a “good” choice. A better choice can be as simple as choosing to eat healthier food at your next meal, or watching an educative movie the next time you are looking for entertainment. A better choice can be not responding to an offensive email…or maybe standing up for yourself and responding in a responsible way. Only your True Self will be able to tell you what the better choice is. Want to know how to get closer to your True Self? Start by reading this.
Remember (and share on Facebook):
What YOU can do TODAY:
- Identify a choice you have labeled as “bad”
- Run this choice through the exercise above
- Practice gratitude for some of the “positives” that resulted from this choice… Practicing gratitude can be as simple saying “Thank you”.
I hope this article is of service to you.
Do you know someone who would benefit from knowing there are no “good” or “bad” choices? Share this article with them, or share it with your friends and family so they can also start creating the life they want to live. If you have a comment or question, please leave it below. I will get back to you with a response!